


The Joker and The Thief

by Oroburos69



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-01
Updated: 2010-07-01
Packaged: 2017-10-26 15:50:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/285075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oroburos69/pseuds/Oroburos69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’ll tell you all the story of the Joker and the thief of the night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Joker and The Thief

Gotham Night is like a greeting, an invitation to come and play. Fog and smog and thick dark clouds hide surprises around 

  


_ every corner _

_   
_

could hold a bat, a bird, a spandex clad acrobat tumbling across the tarry roofs. They’d be so disappointed if he didn’t come out to 

  


_ play _

_   
_

on the tall buildings, racing down the backs of grotesque gargoyles, the risk of falling in every 

  


_ step _

  
through the mud, dirt clinging to fine purple leather, cadaver-- cavalier \--smile firmly in place. There’s a wealth of opportunity 

_  
just waiting _

  
for her to take it, make it her own. Poor darling, locked up in the dark without anyone to look at it. She’ll fix that. No need to 

  
_ set off the alarms _

  
because he can, and everything is more fun when the bat comes. He heard that there is a very expensive exhibit visiting this month. He rather thinks he’ll break it into tiny pieces, and grind the dust beneath his

  
 _ heels _

  
are completely impractical when she’s running the hell away, but she’d worn them because the museum had a security system out of

  
 _ the dark ages _

  
are booooring. The armored suit makes a mighty clang when he knocks it over, but the weapons are all dull. Not an edge in sight! He pouts and throws the broadsword into a diorama. Onward to 

  
_ the Egyptian Exhibit _

  
behind her, Catwoman jumps over a glass exhibition case and darts down the hallway, her heels skittering as she takes the corner too fast, nearly

 _  
running into _

  
a latex kitty! How exciting! The Joker grabs her by the tail, yanking her off her feet. She tumbles toward the wall before landing on her feet, just like a kitty should. 

_  
“Hellooooooo Kitty Cat Cat Cat!” _

  
the Joker greets her, running his tongue across his absurdly long teeth. Catwoman hisses (she didn’t intend to, it just slipped out) and twists away from his bony white hands.

  
 _ “Back off,” _

  
the kitty spits, slashing out with her claws. The Joker laughs in delight, and breaks into a run behind her as she escapes down the hall toward the Native American exhibit.

 _  
“Here Kitty Kitty Kitty,” _

  
he shouts from behind her, the  click-clack of his heels on marble rivalling the  clang-clang  of her own. Catwoman curses and snaps her whip up into the elaborate Gothic rafters, jumping onto a marble statue of 

  
_ a dog _

  
statue cracks under the cat’s feet--she must really dislike dogs. The Joker giggles at the destruction and pulls out his gun. It’s time for the kitty to do some tricks.

  
 _ “Jump Cat!” _

  
the Joker yells from behind her, and Catwoman freezes. A bullet shatters the gargoyle statue under her feet, sending her tumbling through the air until she snaps her whip toward one of the rafters, skimming just above the ground until her whip slides free. She breaks into a run as soon as her feet hit 

  
_ the marble floor _

  
sends up sprays of shrapnel when he shoots it, so he does it again. The cat squeaks and veers away from the exit, ducking behind a totem pole that the Joker shoots on principle.

 _  
“Run Cat!” _

  
the Joker yells from the other side of the pole, leaning around to leer at her from inches away. Catwoman yelps and claws her way to the top of the totem pole, leaping to the forty foot tepee beside it. Her left heel gets stuck in the crux of the logs, wedged between the poles.

 _  
“Jump Cat!”  _

  
the Joker shouts over the sound of the alarm, taking aim. She ducks under the bullet, and the Joker frowns. Perhaps she needs encouragement.

 _  
“You’re bad at this game!” _

  
Catwoman ignores him, jerking the zipper on her boot down and leaping out of it, leaving the knee length boot trapped at the top of the tepee. She jumps from the top of the totem pole to a handy rafter, and from there to an air duct, sliding

  
 _ away _

  
from him. The Joker sighs, then gives the boot trapped at the top of the tepee a curious look. Slowly, a broad smile crosses his face. He has a perfect idea for a game! All he needs is a red velvet pillow and possibly some mice...

 


End file.
